| weep!! |
[29 Apr 2004|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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nothing |
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hmmm.....right now im cool an kinna hyper as hell man. i feel like i can fly to the moon an back lol....and i need to go do my hair, so i can stop scaring people. im just laid back though. but whats really on my mind is......i need a good cool boyfriend, im lonely yall... but hey ive been playing the girl an the boy..hehehehe. but who knows maybe ill be lonely for another 3years or something...
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| hey!!!! |
[28 Apr 2004|02:11pm] |
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hey everyone sorry that i havint written in a min, my best friends computer went down, im over her house. so yea sorry peeps. but hey im back for about 2 weeks, or who knows maybe even more!!! hehehehe. peace out for now though.
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[14 Apr 2004|07:51pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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tool |
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hey i cant wait until kill bill comes out this friday! thats the movie right there im all on that....well besides that im bored an hungry....my friend kelly came over yesterday, came out side to hang out with her for a min....everything was going cool until she asked to come inside my house so we could smoke some weed!!!!!!!!! MAN!!! i guess shes been smoking alittle way to much. I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?? are you insane, hell naw.... she trying to get me in trouble man
she dont know my pops like that.... he would kill me if he ever caught me doing that stuff in his own house. an im not that stupid....
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| no comment................ |
[13 Apr 2004|12:55pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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fuck life |
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so ok keisha almost died............................anyways she's still alive......soooooooo right now im just trying to get a couple of more magazines together an clean my room up, its been looking like shit for the last few days.... an ive been a hustler for a few days aswell...(no comment on that shit aswell...i hope you are ok heather for real man. i hope you dont hate me or simone. (just wondering thats all). well i think im going to go give taylor a bath today since my bro, has been feeding him constantly non stoping, thats a damn shame, but hes going to be hot again yall dont worry....hes hot now.......i just think im going to take simone word now for when she use to say that taylors fat!!(poor kitty) i gotta get him some slim cat.
shit let me see what else is going on here......my hole personality has change since ive been back here in my cage.. i feel like the next person who says something fucked up towards me, im going to just pop. besides that everythings still fucked up... my mom fucked over the rent money(yea once again) an im not going to go into detail about that shit either, cause its making me more fucking angry......like other shit has been.
im ready to take my ass back over heathers house.....thats about it for now...
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| .................... |
[12 Apr 2004|04:08pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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kidney thieves( black bullet) |
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im tired of this shit, my dad hes a fucking dum ass. man i need to hury up in call my aunt.
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[11 Apr 2004|06:50pm] |
Spell your name and see what it says about you
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgmental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have very good physical and looks.
W - You like your privacy.
X - You never let people tell you what to do.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone.
--------------------------------------------------
b- you are always cautious when it comes to metting new people(yea i am).
r-you are a social butterfly( when it comes down to it, it depends though but ill say yea anyway).
a-you can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.(yes)
n-you like to work, but always want a break( ha yea thats true an i dont even have a job)
d- you have trouble trusting people( yea....sometimes.
i- you are always smiling & making others smile( uh...yea sometimes lol....ill say yea to that to though.
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| hmmm.... |
[11 Apr 2004|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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im really not feeling being over here........thats why when i come back from heather house i plan on going to my aunts house, white or no white. i dont care about how white it may be over there.........you have to look pass that shit sometimes a know? as long i dont here someone white saying something stupid about me being black its cool, otherwise if they keep that shit to themselfs an i never find out about it then its cool....i think that would be the best thing...cause i know how white people can get sometimes.
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| ???? |
[10 Apr 2004|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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afi |
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im disturbed right now, i feel like moving away to my aunts house. im trying to deal with things inside by myself an its pissing me off even more. its like im loosing the person i used to be. i guess as times change the people around you become weird, its like the people you use to know really good just seem really fucking weird\fake. i dont know maybe i need to take a good look at myself an figure out somethings. im tired an stressed out of thinking about shit.... basically my life. lastnight i just went in the bathroom an cried until i couldint see anymore. im just tired of hearing about bad shit around here, an i seem to take it in more than anyone eles in hear. i dont know anymore about it. i just wanted to die lastnight an it felt so good to want to but then i just started thinking on how its how i felt at that moment.
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| not coming out right |
[07 Apr 2004|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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right now im so like.........just here.. i really dont know about the people i have in my life sometimes they just seem really distant from me.... sometimes i think they are there an sometimes i think there not. i guess im just stuck. right now i really dont know what to think, my thoughts are all not in one place. i guess its time for me go to go back to my dungeon ware i came from. i guess when i go back home ill just like try to do things differently then what i use to. right now im not valuable to anything but..........but myself.
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| tired |
[03 Apr 2004|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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im just sick in tired of bullshit man, people that have nothing else better to do but just cause fucking chaos. thats some stupid ass shit...im just so sick of shit right now, i can just sock the fuck out of someone, just random socking, except for the people i really care about..remo an heather those are my sisters right there man.... jon no comment.... im tired of my dad i just wish he would vanish or something. an my mom would snap back to reality... fuck man...imma go play some video games.
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[03 Apr 2004|05:44pm] |
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what the fuck man??? that was fucking disrespectful what the fuck jon said to mom. i dont give a fuck if he doseint like her or what, shes an adult, an rather you think what she says is good or bad your still an kid yourself. that doesint give you the right to call her out her name!!!!! at all, i would never call your mom out of her name, i dont care what. you need to seriously check the fuck out of yourself.....i have nothing to say to you... mom an heahter are about the only ones that have excepted me in, i mean they care. its not like i can come over there, even though i wouldint want to..but im just speaking in general. i mean i know simones issuse in all, but no one has been more real an more caring then mom...in that gives you no fucking right to call her out of her name...an if mom wanted to she can come over your house an beat your ass herself. you need to check yourself......but i know mom is not trying to waist her time on you like that. you have drawn the line man..... that shit was uncalled for.
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[29 Mar 2004|02:18am] |
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmm........everyone can kiss my ass!! including if your not even a friend to read this shit!!! my ass is cold right now, an im picturing killing people. exspecially people who are getting on my nerves right now!!! if you know who are then comment, an write "yes im that jackass huh"?
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| a shout out! |
[26 Mar 2004|12:18pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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girls not grey |
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am i a trader? hell no... matter of of fact im a sweet kind loving person an will give you my last to save you before i would myself. no ware im getting to? i cant help it if all of your good friends dont like one another ya know? i mean the best i can do is love them all!! yea you have your friends that have there ways, but its really not worth giving up on them sometimes...i mean it could be a hell of alot worse. i just want the friends that i have, an keep them close, really close to me. rather it be, someone really emotional, or someone that has mood swings, or someone thats all ways letting things go, or someone thats really cool an quiet an that knows alot about make-up! lolz.
i mean i would give up anything for everyone to be cool with one another ya know? but i know thats not going to happen anytime soon. keisha even though you've done alot of shit in the past, on how you acted. an maybe every now an then you still have your ways, i still love you... i know i cant change you i can only love you, i mean all friends have there flaws to themselfs i know i do. an simone i love you aswell even though you are a sweet person an you tend to let things go! but hey thats how you are i cant change that. an jon you are way to emotional about things, you need to work your problems out to!! but even though you still think of me as your girlfriend....theres not much i can say about that either, cause some emotions just dont change no matter how hard you try...but i still love you though.. an heather you are quiet an even though i be thinking somethings be on your mind, but i guess if you feel the need to talk about it then you will. but i still love the heck out of you but nothing really big... but i love all you guys man.
i was thinking to myself that man lifes to short to deal with bullshit though forreal. an if its not forreal, then bump that, it really shouldint be lengering on for this long. in fact everyones to old for this shit, an is getting old lol, well i know i am. but it was on my mind an i felt like writing about it....so....there ya go!
but i really do love all of you guys though...i hope you can understand this....
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| today! |
[23 Mar 2004|02:25pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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311 love song |
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ok right now i feel good. pretty damn good today, im over heather house an im happy to be away from home. even though i havr to go back on wed. but thats cool. i have to go to school on thursday, which i really dont want to but i have to if i wanna move on. but its was kinna weird yesterday cause i was on the phone with jon, an i was asking him about fixing heather computer an it went cool until he got mad when heather asked what color his hair was. i was like man its not that serious so just chill out. so that didint go very well at all, but i hope that didint offend ya, an if i did then im sorry!
but i dont really have nothing eles to say right now, im kinna just now waking up so yea..........bye! bye!
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| this one goes out to keisha |
[22 Mar 2004|12:55pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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you know you want it |
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HEY YOU THERE!!! YOU KNOW YOUR ASS IS NOT OUT OF IT!!! AN YES ITS BEEN ON MY MIND THIS LONG TO THINK ABOUT IT AN WRITE ABOUT IT NOW..........IF THATS WHAT YOUR THINKING. DUDE YOU CAN MAKE MORE TIME YOU ASS. UNLESS YOU JUST GIVIN UP COMPLETLY MMMM HMMM...... WHICH I THINK YOUR STILL THINKING ABOUT IT.. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU AN JON TALKED ABOUT AN SIMONE.. BUT I NEVER DID GET THE FULL STORY... AN SINCE YOUR ASS CANT CALL ANYONE AN LET THEM KNOW SOMETHING.....THEN MAYBE YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND THAT YOU DONT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ANYMORE. IF A NIG IS WRONG THEN PLEASE INFORM ME... WHATS GOING ON HERE?
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| do you really think you know who you are? |
[22 Mar 2004|12:34pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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people you thought were close to you |
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right when you think you have someone that you can turn to they turn right round in bite you in the ass. an i dont mean having a boy friend either. it could be friends family an one or anything. i mean sometimes you just have to rely on yourself for things ya know? or if you have friends that you know you can turn the fuck to, then so be it. otherwise what the hell am i waisting my time for on trying to turn to someone that im having doubts about.
it shouldint take that much time to figure something like that out. i mean some people are just to busy to hang out with, an some only want you around cause there bored, or they think you got something thats better than them an they want to show that they have it to. some people that you thought ware the same, there not. and they are only caught into themselfs an what they wanna do. matter of fact they still think of themselfs to be real. you think they actually care about whats going with you? or that your having some major time fucking issues? hell fucking no!!! its all about them an what they want. but as soon as you mention something that they wanna do, its all find an dandy. so thats why its good to know what type of friends you have, i mean know your friends aswell.
cause sometimes your friends dont even know who they really are, an family, an whoever else.
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[21 Mar 2004|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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afi( god called in sick today) |
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ok today is kinna.............slow. mmmmmmmmmm.....miss thang heather.. I CALLED YOU!!! AN YA WAS THERE WITH YO! MAN! MR. RICHIE!! YA WOULDINT EVEN LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE! YA HEFFA!
but its cool i understand. yea but anyways imma kinna sleepy right now, an i dont know what else to do........i....could like be doing some homework but....i dont want to. an yea im still waiting on my stuff thats being sent to me up north from my untie. k for now i feel like a bum an im sleepy. but besides that im still alive an breathing.
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| i fucking hate her |
[20 Mar 2004|04:09pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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cold play clocks |
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your such a fucking faker
you know you miss it
how could you ever seem to go against it
now your lost just like we are
caught when we dont have to be
a dream that will never seem to fade but be in your thoughts
you hate what you lost
your feelings will come to an underground bariel
someware for people not to see
you drove us well
i believe your every last word of perfection
sending me to my very own depression
your lies were to good
an now that your gone its hard to take
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[20 Mar 2004|03:25pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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nothing just me |
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ok i just finished erasing, some people off my friends lists. yea...........i have my reason. the only people i need in my life right now, are the people that matter most to me right now: jon, keisha heather, an simone. an other things right now. but i've been trying to focus on other shit, since things seem to be going hella slow right now but thats cool. well for once, theres nothing happining right now in the band kinna on hold, my school just got that back on track, my family still still disfunctional, friends are dropping slowly, an thats why i need to keep the ones i got cause there good. but things will work there way out, an eventually come back again. but when they do ill just give me a better outlook on things.
i dont know, i guess things seems crazy right now, then they dont. i guess its all how im trying to deal with things you know thats really getting to me. keisha is not in the band no more, even though at first it was like a huh???????? but then after a while i kinna was like whatever i mean what can i really say? then i really cant think to much about it. im trying to figure out what i wanna do after high school\independent study, i mean what do i really want to do with my life ya know? wanted to do music but........thats kinna on hold right now. cant wait til i turn 18. i wanna go over heather house, gotta get my clothes together, an call her. ooooooo yea hey nig!!! i gotta get my nintendo 64 bit back from you!!! lol. so yea...ill probaly call ya today k! sorry ive been pussyfooting around. the last time i talked to ya i told ya i was going to call ya.
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